[Review] The Witches(2020) {5.5/10}

Directed by Robert Zemeckis from a screenplay by Zemeckis, Kenya Barris, and Guillermo del Toro, the film stars Anne Hathaway (Grand High Witch), Octavia Spencer (The Grandmother), Stanley Tucci (Mr. R.J Stringer) and Chris Rock (The Narrator). It is based on the 1983 novel of the same name by Roald Dahl and is the second feature-length adaptation of the novel, after the 1990 film of the same name directed by Nicolas Roeg.

The plot follows an unseen narrator (Chris Rock) explaining to a classroom of children that witches are real, live among us, and hate children. He goes on to tell the story of how he discovered this first-hand as a boy. In a flashback, he explains how, in late 1968, when he was 8 (Jahzir Bruno), his parents died in a car accident. He goes to live with his maternal grandma (Octavia Spencer) in a small town in Alabama. While he's at a local market, an elegantly dressed woman with a snake hisses and asks him whether he wants a piece of candy, scaring him. He tells his grandma, who has developed a bad cough, and she reveals that it wasn't a woman he saw, but a witch. Witches, she explains, always wear gloves, wigs, hats, and makeup to disguise their clawed hands, bald heads, and elongated mouths, among other identifying features. Alarmed, grandmother and grandson decide to vacation at a fancy hotel. Soon after arriving at their destination, the boy discovers that the group of female guests allegedly there for a child-welfare conference are in fact a coven of witches. They're led by the Grand High Witch (Anne Hathaway), who has a master plan to use a potion to transform all children into mice and then exterminate them.

The Witches feels like a paycheck movie from a man who used to spend fortunes doing whatever he wanted. The visuals are impressive. The performance by Anne Hathaway is amazing. But story wise, there is no peril, and there is zero allure. Alan Silvestri's score is the only magical ingredient in this CGI-heavy potion. Outside of curiosity for a few choice performances, there's little to recommend here that you can't find done better in the original. As great as it can be, The Witches lacks the best world-building and depth of some other Dahl material, and Zemeckis can't quite figure out how to make this story richer. Unless you want a bunch of CGI mice on a mission, there's not much to enjoy in this bland Roald Dahl adaptation. Kids and adults alike will be too bored to watch, despite Anne Hathaway's fun attempts to devour the scenery. The Witches is an empty shell of a film that will only disappoint those looking for something with more substance. It's hard to imagine any children being shaken by this surprisingly bland take on The Witches.

The Witches is now available on HBO Max.